Seventeen.

Seventeen sketches and ideas that I've put down so far.

But wait… what's this? A duplicate?!? Gah, I forgot that I'd renamed one of the ideas after it developed into something that no longer fit the title. Oh.

Sixteen.

And all of a sudden, two more ideas came tumbling out. Why does this always happen near or after midnight?

Eighteen.

That sounds better.

So there it is. Eighteen to date. Most are still in the formative stages. One is actually just an idea in word form that I noted down a month ago. Gladly, I jotted down a reference so that I'll be able to decipher where I was initially going with that one. And here's the thing that I'm finding to be the most important part of the process…

Take notes immediately

Jot down ideas as soon as possible, using whatever is at hand. Give as much detail as possible. One of the most helpful ways I've found to note down ideas is to record them (discreetly if possible) straight into Evernote using my mobile phone. Evernote then syncs the recording/notes/etc to its server and then to my computer. Easy.

So far, I have nine Particle ideas on the boil. Most of them are still in fairly formative stages as yet, but I’m making headway little by little. This week, I’ve enlisted the awesome Mitch Bruzzese to bring his funky beats to some of the tracks as they come up, so I’m excited to hear what comes from the collaboration.

Yet sometimes it seems so little headway is being made.

And now the doubts creep in

If I hadn’t actually committed to the project and had it as a goal of sorts, it may have never happened. I’m finding it quite hard to eke out meaningful hours of creativity after a full day’s work and a few hours of family business. The most I can do is to squeeze out a couple of hours before I need to get some sleep before the pre-6am wakeup the next morning. Probably trying to burn too much of the proverbial candle, so I just end up tired and uncreative.

I’ve also witnessed some awesome players doing astounding things recently. That’s been both inspiring and depressing. It’s been inspiring because these people are playing things that are beautiful, technical and extreme. It’s also been a little depressing because I have no idea whether the quality of the things that I create will live up to the high standards that I expect from myself. Not entirely sure if I can ever live up to that, I guess.

Forging a path

Nevertheless, despite getting bogged down with life and tiredness, I’m still committed to Particles. I’m becoming convinced that if I want to make meaningful headway, I’ll need to be fairly ruthless with my time. I’ve been working out how I’m going to structure my time more efficiently, and that’ll get easier as I get used to working in a more streamlined fashion. That means more time devoted to meaningful things and less time for frivolous things (but not at the expense of people).

Right now, the most meaningful thing I can do for tonight is to go to bed, so that’s where I’m headed.

Hopefully with dreams of haunting melodies and complex harmonies

ADDENDUM

To help with collaboration, we’ll be using the excellent Dropbox to share files. Check it out, it’s fantastic.

There seems to be some smooth jazz lurking somewhere deep inside and it's starting to come out.

That, my friends, is weird and unexpected. And a rather frightening thought. To say the least, I was a little reluctant to bring this kind of thing out into the light. Like a sort of coming out, if you will.

Not that there isn't some good things about smooth jazz. There are some very notable jazz musos who have been known to dabble in a bit o' smooth (Marcus Miller and George Benson come to mind), but I generally don't subscribe to that particular form of music. To my ear, it too often seems like jazz with the actual jazz taken out. Sort of artificial in a way, as if the package had a disclaimer in tiny writing, “May not contain actual jazz.”

But when I went back to listen to what I'd recorded, there it was, sounding all muted and mellow. Smarming back at me with its goofy, innocuous grin like an adolescent who has just warmed their part of the pool.

And there you have it. This one may never break the surface, but it's all part of the journey. I'll likely put that one to rest for a bit and move on to something else before I revisit that particular particle.

ADDENDUM

On another note, I have peered beneath the covers of Posterous and have gazed upon the horror that is the code supporting the site. As a web standards guy, I recoiled in despair at the rancid spaghetti beast that lies in wait beneath the squeaky exterior of Posterous.

Oh, but Posterous makes it so easy to post stuff, they say. We will see if that is enough to satiate the demands of my standardista alter-ego. I'll keep you posted.

Many moons ago, a young band recorded an album. An EP of such epic silliness that was destined to be shunned/ignored by the public. Yes, yes, it's been done before. Many, many albums have been made that never saw the light of day, or at least were heard in the light of day. Such is the life of musicians living in Obscurity.

Yet for many musicians, the yearning to create is stronger than the need for the creation to be recognised. I've lived with this gnawing at the back of my mind for far too long. In recent times, it has been put off due to things mundane, important and frivolous — work, moving house, time spent with family, tiredness, conquering opponents, hanging with friends and oh so many other things. All good stuff but not actually scratching the creative itch.

I have been blessed to have had many opportunities to be creative in live situations over the years (not enough!) but still there remains a desire to put something to tape. Or disk. Or whatever whatsit that the cool set are recording with these days.

Here starteth the lesson

Or the project at least.

I have decided to start creating music. Just sit down and start creating. Often the process of writing/composition just gets too overwhelming (man, that's going to take ages…) and so it all gets too much. And it gets put off. And it gets shelved. And I wonder when I'm going to get time to start up again.

Another major stumbling block has been a distinct lack of decent gear. Why not use the gear I already have and deal with the shortcomings the best I can? In fact, when I thought about it, I have enough to get by.

So, with all that in mind, a project has begun.

PARTICLES

Rules (may be clarified/updated later):

• just create
• record ideas regularly
• don't let ideas go unexplored
• don't get bogged down making things perfect (yet)
• just use what I have
• involve collaborators when practical
• keep creating and being playful

When it gets to mid-2010 (current estimate), I'll survey everything I've created to that point and start sifting things and moulding everything into a collection of pieces. A whole work. An album of sorts. The working title is Particles. If I think it's good enough, I'm planning to release it to the public.

The whole thing is kinda scary, but I imagine the process will be quite cathartic. Anyway, it's actually for my benefit rather than for fame, money or other people's approval. I'm planning to write some things down during the process and may post some clips along the way.

I have no illusions that everyone will dig the music that I create, but I'm hoping that some friends will join me on the journey.

The Community Foundation of North Western Sydney is a new foundation that aims to help individuals and organisations to help disadvantaged people in Sydney’s north-west.

I’ve had the privilege of working on their website, and it is finally live.

Community Foundation of North Western Sydney

Now, if only I can find some time to redesign this website…

Blessings,
Steve